Saturday, May 29, 2004

New York Times: Obituary

From an anonymous commenter at Eschaton:

The Grey Lady, a noted pioneer of American journalism, died after a long struggle with fascism on December 12, 2000 at her home in New York, New York.

The Grey Lady was born September 18, 1851 in New York, New York, the daughter of Henry Jarvis Raymond and George Jones. She was an early supporter of the Republican party carrying a large black border on the day of Lincoln's death. Disgusted with the scandals in the Grant Administration, George Jones, moved his daughter the Grey Lady away from the Republican Party to the Democratic Party.

In 1896, Adolph S. Ochs, publisher of The Chattanooga Times, married the Grey Lady. "All the News That's Fit to Print," coined by Ochs himself became her personal motto. On December 1, 1897 the Grey Lady was formally crowned The New York Times. In 1918, she won her first Pulitzer Prize for public service in publishing the texts of dozens of official reports, documents and speeches about World War I.

On January 20, 1981 the Grey Lady moved back to the Republican party of her youth. She ignored the inauguration of Democratic President Clinton in her most recent autobiography preferring to highlight the day Ronald Reagan was sworn in. In 2000, after 8 years of peace and prosperity, she rediscovered war. September 11, 2001 changed everything. After a brief second marriage to the former Republican party, she was diagnosed with terminal fascism. She died with a broken masthead at home in her sleep.

The Grey Lady is survived by several cousins, The New York Daily News, The New York Post, the Village Voice, the New York Press, and the New York Observer as well as numerous second and third cousins all of whom still reside in the greater New York metropolitan area.
I will miss her.